a story of a broken hope

I’ve been visited by my menses.

A broken hope..a broken heart.

I must say, i’m quite dissappointed at this point, all this while i’ve been FEELING of being pregnant shattered away.

When i 1st see the spots, i was a bit surprised but i keep assuring myself that this phenomena do happen to expecting mothers, or in other words it is called bleeding implantation. But when i started to feel stomach cramp like the usual period pain i’ve had before, i just knew that this is the familiar monthly menses.

I couldn’t restrain myself of seeing Dr.K and blurted everything from A-Z about my delayed period, the feeling, the pain i’m feeling that time. To make things worst, my UPT test was -ve. Meaning that, this is my delayed menses, so all the symptoms which i thought was of pregnancy was actually for my delayed menses.

But the question is, why all out of sudden the menses are delayed?? I never have this kind of situations before. Right from the start when i had my menses, the cycles were always regular every month. My menses were quite long, its between 9-12 days mensruating and the next menses will be about 16-18 days apart from my last day of period. (thats the way how i calculated my cycle).

But after marriage, i noticed that my menses are getting shorter in days, between 6-7 days of bleeding and the pain; the period pain was lesser than when i was still anak dara. Since i was only married for 2 months, i’ve only have 2x monthly cycle, and if it is really the period, its no.3.

When i compare with my previous 2 menses, this time around is a bit odd. 1st because its delayed, even if its still in the normal 28days cycle. 2nd its the pain, i’ve had this pain during my single time, but not for these previous 2 menses after get hitched. 3rd i REALLY felt&thought that i was about to be the expecting mother, with all the early symptoms; bloated stomach, nausea,rollercoaster mood swings, tender breast etc. but seeing the red spots on my undies is the last thing that i want to have.

Please.

I really feel quite awful this time.

Maybe THE ALMIGHTY want to test me this time around. HE knows that i wanted to have a child so much but HE knows what is the best for MGH & I, maybe one day HE will fulfill my hope. I just need to keep my faith and keep on berdoa, for HE knows what is the best for us.

And we must keep on trying…

my 1st blog. my 1st hope.

I’m expected to due for my monthly period. Today. Its 19th days after the last period, which i’m supposedly to be in my period based on my constant cycle.

We, My Gorgeous Husband(MGH) & I are putting our hope that i will not have my period for the next few months.

We noticed that over dinner, a toddler couldn’t keep her eyes off me, smiling at me in between her meals. It made us realized what a friend of mine said a few days back about small children detector for pregnancy.

I just hope what she said is true. Because that Little girl’s attraction to me is not the 1st scenario.

I really really hope…

Oh, I did a simple quiz abt pregnancy.

Here’s the result:

Am I Pregnant? Quiz

You answered 5 items out of 12 Yes.

Your score is 42%. You might be pregnant, wait and take a test.

not even 50% scored.

But I’m putting my finger’s crossed. Because I’m starting to FEEL pregnant.

Please..please..please period. Dont come and visit me this month.